Taming tantrums

Very young children are often not able to express themselves as much as they want to and their frustration may come out as a tantrum. Tantrums often happen in busy, public places, which can be highly embarrassing and add to parents’ stress.

Dealing with temper tantrums

• Keep calm. Getting angry and shouting at your child will only make things worse.
• Your child could be tired or hungry so rest or food might help. Or they might just need some attention or comfort.
• Try to find a distraction. Finding something else interesting to do or look at can help. If you’re in a busy or noisy place try to go somewhere quieter.
• If none of the above work; try to see things from your child’s point of view and understand what they actually want. Try offering them a limited choice, as this gives your child a sense of control and can be more effective than simply saying “no”. Always try to offer a positive way out.
• If you do say “no” don’t be tempted to give in later to calm them down. If you give in your child will repeat the tantrums as a means of getting their own way.
• If you’re at home you can try safely ignoring the tantrum by going into another room. Encourage your child to cool down on their own and talk more calmly about what they want.
• After the tantrum, praise your child for settling down. Even though they may no longer be angry they may still be upset, so give them a cuddle and make it clear that you still love them no matter what.

You can reduce the likelihood of a tantrum by planning ahead:

• Avoid your child becoming hungry, overtired or bored. Bring snacks, drinks, small toys and books on trips.
• Make sure your child is getting enough personal attention and affection.
• You could discuss the rules of where you are going in advance.
• Make sure your time together is quality time together especially if you work for most of the day.
• Keep shopping trips and outings as short as possible. Praise good behaviour.
• Try to plan a regular method that you’ll use to deal with tantrums when they do happen.

Remember, temper tantrums are normal and do not usuallylead to serious problems. As your child gets older they will learn to deal more calmly with the stresses of everyday life.